Flatmate dealbreakers: what to ask before signing a shared lease

Sharing a place is the single biggest rent saver available to anyone under 35 in SA. It's also the fastest way to destroy a friendship or ruin your peace. The difference is almost entirely about having the right conversation before moving in.

The non-negotiables to discuss up front

1. Sleep schedules

Early-bird + night-owl is a recipe for daily friction. Ask: "What time do you usually get up? Go to sleep? Work from home?" Mismatches are solvable (headphones, thick doors) but you need to know.

2. Guests and partners

Daily partner overnight? Weekends only? Do they contribute to utilities? What's the rule for weekday social guests? What about parties? Agree in writing, not verbally.

3. Cleaning standards

The biggest source of flatmate conflict. Be specific:

• Who cleans the shared bathroom, and how often?
• Do you share a kitchen cleaning roster, or does each person clean up immediately after themselves?
• Do you split cleaner costs? If yes, weekly or fortnightly?
• Hairs in the shower drain. Dishes in the sink. These are fights that last 6 months.

4. Money splits

• Who is on the lease? (Joint lease = joint legal liability for full rent if the other defaults.)
• How are utilities split — equal, or by room size?
• How is the deposit handled at move-out?
• If one person leaves early, how is their replacement chosen and approved?

5. Shared goods

Who owns the kettle, iron, router, washing machine? What happens when someone leaves? Draft a simple shared-goods list before move-in.

6. Pets

Even if you both like pets, the lease usually doesn't. Confirm pet policy with the landlord, and agree house rules before the cat or dog arrives.

7. Food and fridge

Shared groceries or each person buys their own? Shelves labelled or communal? Does anyone use the other's stuff "just this once"? It adds up.

Red flags in a potential flatmate

• Won't agree to a trial period or face-to-face meetings.
• Cagey about income or work — paying rent is the core requirement, be open.
• Won't sign a joint or co-signed lease — insists you take it and they'll "pay you rent".
• Vague about the reason they left their last place.
• Very different personal finance stress level to yours (they spend, you save, or vice versa).

The conversation to have face-to-face

Before you sign anything, sit together for 30 minutes with coffee and go through:

1. Sleep and work schedules.
2. Weekly cleaning responsibilities.
3. Splitting bills (including monthly fibre, weekly groceries if shared, cleaner).
4. Guests — partners, family, parties.
5. Shared stuff — appliances, furniture, who owns what.
6. Conflict resolution — "If something's bugging me, what's the best way to raise it?" (Most people prefer face-to-face over passive-aggressive notes on the fridge.)
7. Exit plan — notice period if one person wants to leave, who finds a replacement, deposit handling.

If any of those topics make them uncomfortable or defensive, that's your answer. Walk away and find someone else. A bad flatmate at 50% rent is worse than being alone at 100%.

Write it down

Even a one-page Google Doc signed by both of you is better than verbal agreement. Specifically put the bills split, cleaning schedule, guest rule, and move-out process in writing. When memory disagrees with the doc in 6 months, the doc wins and the friendship survives.